Luci Phurr’s Imps “Calls & Punishment” #2

I know they say the Devil has all the best music, but you gotta admit, something like a Lite Jazz version of “Ace of Spades” could ONLY have been invented by someone deeply deeply evil.

If you’d like to nominate someone like the guy who invented Musak for Honorary Imphood, like we did here, drop us your suggestions via the contact page and if it meets the standards the Imps look for in evil, meanness, or just plain stupidity, we’ll post it in the new section we’ll put on the Imps’ Facebook page.



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Discussion (11) ¬

  1. Byakugan01

    Just what is Musak, and how bad can it be? It can’t be worse than rap.

  2. dale_mettam

    So, you’re on hold… or in an elevator… or wandering around the supermarket… and you’re zoning out as you go about your business, thinking about what it is you want to say to that Customer Service Rep when they pick-up… or wondering why that guy in the elevator seems to have no clue what deodorant is, let alone why it makes the world a little better… or what to have for dinner tonight.

    And slowly, as you consider the ponderables of the Universe you realize that somewhere, above you, or beside you, or behind the canned peas, a speaker is piping something vaguely musical in your direction.

    You can’t quite put your finger on it… you’re sure you’ve heard it before. But you don’t usually listen to light jazz… or polka music… and you never listen to light jazz polka music. But you’re SURE you know what that song is. It’s there, the name, on the tip of your tongue. And here comes the chorus… and suddenly it hits you. What you’re listening to is a light jazz polka version of the Rolling Stones’ “Satisfaction.”

    That, my friend, is musak – in all it’s evil glory.

  3. dale_mettam

    Here are a few examples.
    James Bond
    Star Wars
    And while this SOUNDS like it should be musak, this is REAL! AND EVIL!

  4. Warriorking4ver

    Misfortune better watch himself or else Pain might actually jump him for inventing so many things that clearly vex him XD

  5. dale_mettam

    Welcome WK4. Happy to have you here.

  6. charliez

    More and more tortures for mortals to face.

  7. Master David Goodmen

    The lord Moozak: None dare call it “music”! [Because it’s NOT!!] [Because it SNOT!]
    The moozak version of “Green Tambourine”! This is the only “song” I remember, from two years of orthodontic visits. Upon hearing this, I was… think of disgust, stupefaction, and vomit, coming together to make an electronic hash!

    [What is electronic hash? Take TV snow, FM-radio noise, AM-radio noise, random hissing noise, three weak radio stations, all mistuned, and three or four alien tones, all at once. This is what electronics people mean by “hash”—in extremis, but still!]

  8. Visagor

    I love this one.

  9. Visagor

    Wait, Why exactly does Warriorking4ever get a welcome?………………….answer if you wish.

  10. dale_mettam

    We try to welcome each new person who posts a comment for the first time.

    Did we not do that for you, Visagor? If not, I will have to speak to my creative wife about that.

    Just in case… a belated welcome, Visagor. The place just wouldn’t be the same without you.

  11. Visagor

    Thank you, Dale of Luci Phurrs imps.