Deus Ex-Pletive #12

There was a great deal of debate about how exactly Kevin trashed his body in this one.  Apparently Dale knows EXACTLY what happened, but no one here in the office has been brave enough to ask him how.  It’s probably safer for you guys to make up your own minds.  Feel free to share your theories here.

Look out for a new bonus comic, extra hi-jinx at the weekend with the WEEKENDERS and BEHIND THE IMPS, and finally get ready to see just what kinda mess Kevin has landed himself in.

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Discussion (35) ¬

  1. harleypuppy

    LOVE IT!

  2. LydaLynn

    Oh – I know this one – Kevin didn’t actually manage to get to the lady’s husband first. There was a college student at the next table who had just learned the Heimlich maneuver in his mandatory health class. The student, of course, rushed to the man’s aid [some say he was just trying to impress his date].

    With the second abdominal thrust, the fatty liver went flying out of the man’s windpipe, through some flambe [catching fire] and hit Kevin who was rushing in to save the day. Kevin, certain that the man needed real help from his most radiant self, continued to the man’s side, ignoring the flaming bit of liver stuck to his coat sleeve.

    The college student’s girl friend, rushing to give her date a kiss, knocked her purse from her table. Her aerosol hairspray rolled out. Kevin, stepped on the can, breaking the cap off, and creating a cloud of rather flammable gas around him. The spray hit the burning live, and up went Kevin. The woman, her husband, the heroic college student and his date managed to escape with only minor burns. The restaurant owner is currently filing insurance papers and trying to figure out what he’s going to tell his wife about the charred rubble that was once a thriving business.

  3. jjmblue7

    My guess is that whilst administering the Heimlich maneuver, he lost balance and got squished by the lady’s hubby onto a fork, or several.
    Failing that, LydaLynn’s explanation sounds good, since Occam’s Razor might not apply to divine beings, and kevin should just stay away from razors in general.

  4. jjmblue7

    @harleypuppy: DUCKIES!

  5. keylaleigh

    Wow, Lyda. I’m not going to try and compete.

    On other news, if my paycheck is a happy paycheck, I’m getting my Pain shirt today!

  6. Ragedoll

    Not going to lie, the bonus comic is truly amazing! I <3 it!

    I love the explanations, and somehow I do think that Occam's does apply to Kevin… He is a very "special" Angel. haha

  7. keylaleigh

    Unfortunately, my paycheck is NOT happy, so I only have money for the concert ticket. The NEXT one, though, will be very happy!

  8. dale_mettam

    I think we might have missed a couple of “hello”s, so to harleypuppy and the other new readers who have popped up recently….

    WELCOME! 😀

    And LydaLynn, you are actually NOT that far off the official scenario. But the further in you got, the less accurate you got. But the start… bang on the money. So much so that I thought you had seen my notes.

  9. Kiriel

    Dale.. you should just tell us your evil evil secrets of the torturing of Kevinbodies.. xD

  10. dale_mettam

    Uh-uh! Ain’t gonna. Can’t make me.

    It’s way more fun seeing what you guys come up with. 😀

  11. Sicarius

    *grins* loved that scenario Lyda…it was ten kinds of awesomeness…no matter what my genetically-altered mutant zombi-fied vampiric gopher with a mummified left forepaw – holding a massive flamethrower – named Brutus says…he’s just mad I forgot to give him his monthly bucket of haggis….

  12. DktrAgonizer

    Perhaps Alisdair was lurking around this time. Or, y’know, every time.

    Aaah, Kevin, why do you even bother? 😛

  13. Revok

    @LydaLynn: well done, too bad it wasn’t what really happened, ‘cuz it was a rather funny mental image.

    @dale: PLEEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzz………. (wow, imagine a hydralisk trying to do the puppy-dog-eye’s routine, creepy)

    @LydaLynn(again): wait… “renfest garb”, “anything with a bodice” be ye fair-folk?

  14. LydaLynn

    Well, I’m glad folks like my explanation.

    @Dale – your notes are not so secret – and while they might differ from my explanation – being a star myself – I got the tale straight from Kevin – so . . . I think we know who’s more accurate here. Lol.

    @Revok – yes, I am a renrat – sort of – in recent years not as much – mostly due to a dwindling budget and the fact that our local renfest is under new management and the new management are idiot who messed with the great shows that were there to bring in stuff I don’t come close to caring about. But I’ve not actually worked one or anything – just spend most summer weekends wandering the fair in garb and directing the more mundane folks to the privies.

  15. Iceburgh

    I’m wishing I had the money to go to the Treasure Valley Highland Games and Celtic Festival.

  16. Iceburgh

    As for how Kevin trashed the body (given the clues thus far), that after the successful administration of the abdominal thrusts (can’t call it the Heimlich anymore apparently), a happy Kevin walked out of the resteraunt and forgot to look where he was going, fell down into a manhole, and either broke something important or drowned (or both). Or got caught in a steam vent…

  17. dale_mettam

    A wad of sloppy foie gras flying through the air WAS involved. Alcohol WAS involved. Flambéd Foie Gras was NOT involved.

  18. NuclearScientist

    Clearly the foie gras became lodged in Kevin’s throat as a result of its maiden voyage through the air.

  19. LydaLynn

    *likes the idea of Flambéd Foie Gras – but then – is secretly a pyromaniac*

  20. TheBold

    Hey found you guys a week ago and loving what I see, anyway heres my thoughts on what happened.

    Flying Foie Gras from someone elses heimlich maneuver lands under Kevins foot while he is running causing him to go flying backwards and bang his head on a celebrating couple. The impact causes the champagne the couple ordered to tip over and it pours up the dazed Kevins nose drowning him.

  21. comichero

    @Lyda your making it extremely difficult not to steal you away from your hubby with your gamer, renrat and secret pyromania tendancies, tis a shame your hubby is a grouch hs name isnt oscar is it?

    asto the non flambed foie gras projectile im going say it some how was lodge into kevin throat at which time he tripped crashing into several tables and was subsiquently dosed in alcohol and after hitting the floor dislodged the foie gras got up and stubbled out of ther resteruant bumped in to several officers on their way in to check on the scene after reciving a 911 call seen the over turend tables smell kevin beat him for running int o them caliming he was attacking them and draged him off to the detox tank and was savagely ?????* and beatin to death by two large men one named tiny the other tim

    * We edited this to tone it down a little. Sure, we’re evil, but we have some younger readers who will find their own way to becoming naughty spawn without anyone accelerating the process – Team LPI

  22. DktrAgonizer

    @LydaLynn High-five for secret pyromania! Whoo!

  23. dale_mettam

    Um… posting it in a public comments section on the interwebs makes it slightly LESS secret.

  24. LydaLynn

    @comichero – no – he’s not Oscar – he’s more Grumpy the Dwarf – though my best friend growing up had a brother, father, grandfather, greatgrandfather, great-great grandfather [there were eight generations in this line] named Oscar. And you can’t steal me from hubby – I luffs him when I’m not wanting to strangle him [actually I luffs him even when I can’t stand to be in the same room with him – luffs – go figure].

    @dale – Okay – so – it’s not much of a secret.

  25. LydaLynn

    It doesn’t have to be funny to be a favorite.

  26. dale_mettam

    HEY! HEY! HEY! What time is it kids? It’s Krusty ti… um… no… it’s Saturday, and that means it’s WEEKENDERS time.

  27. Kiriel

    I love the weekenders.. and I KNOW that style but my brain does not remember name of said stripstyle.. *cries* ;3;

  28. Savail

    Finally clicked through to this…Between time traveling and Mr. Kevin here, I now really really want to go watch the old Pseudo-Python Time Bandits.

  29. Bismarck

    I hope he comes back in an “Alvin The Chipmunk” body!!!!

    BTW Kiriel, What do you put in your “Evil Cool-aid” because the “Ladies” around my area aren’t as fun as you ;>

  30. LydaLynn

    Arr Matey, have yer’selves an amazin’ Talk Like a Pirate Day!

  31. dale_mettam

    Avast ye scurvy dogs! Get ye’sel’s o’er to BEHIND THE IMPS an’ spy out th’ latest booty we done plundered.

  32. comichero

    Aye Aye capt’n Lyda tis a grand day to be talkin like a pirate fer all ye who no not how to talk like us atune yer eyes to dis visual instruction manual on the 5 A’s of pirate speakin

    @Lyda awwww shucks but i really wanted to steal you to day to keep in theme with the pirates i supose if you luff him ye luff him i’ll still plot to steal you but you have my solumn word as a pirate that i willnot in actmy plans to steal you and the rest of the mates of LPI even tho i think we’d make a topnotch pirate crew

  33. comichero

    ps: if ye be needed more lessons in pirate talkin here be another educational video

  34. comichero
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