The only thing worse than that old acquaintance who belittles your achievements, is the one who just did so much better than you since you last met.
This is where the best policy to adopt is out-and-out lying. But you have to be smart. “Yeah, well, since we last talked, I went to moon and have my own comedy show on HBO. Oh, and did I mention I found a cure for bunions and the common cold?” OBVIOUSLY all those things can be checked out and found to be false (TIP: If you want to go for the TV show angle, pick NBC… no one has been watching that network for a while now – or Fox News… you can totally sell you have a sitcom on that channel, since most people seem glaze over within five minutes of tuning in).
No, you need to get smart. “Yeah, I do a lot of government work. Can’t really talk about it. Let’s just say one of my algorithms keeps you and everyone you care for safe at nights. Y’ know those drones that fly around, taking out bad guys in the middle of nowhere? If you ask me, I will be forced to officially deny I have any knowledge of how those things work… or were invented… but…” and you leave that sentence hanging, with a slight nod and knowing wink. Then make a hasty retreat to the punchbowl.
And remember, check out the bonus comic. Get it while it’s hot. For a limited time only. Be the first on your block to see it… and probably feel a little queasy as a result.