IMPosters Classic

CLASSIC

Welcome to the part of the Luci Phurr’s Imps site that wouldn’t be possible without you. We’ve created a whole new set of Imp characters specifically based on our most regular Posters here on the site. Our Imp Posters.

These are not based on the reality of how you guys are, but more how LPI artist Courtney Huddleston thinks an Imp version of you might look based on your comments. The associated descriptions are again based on the Imp, not the reader.
If you want to become immortalized as a character in Luci Phurr’s universe, throw in your two cents in the comments section and who knows where it will lead. Best of all, you might even see YOUR imp make a guest appearance in the regular strips.
Hopefully you like these, because they were created specifically for you, the readers. Thanks for your support.

But You Forgot (AKA Tegger)

This imp, with his one huge all seeing eye is the guy who never lets ANYTHING slip.

Oh sure, for  a while you’d think this guy is more of a Guardian Angel than a minion of Hades, but the seventh time you hear, “But you forgot…” you’ll start to realize that this Imp MIGHT be keepingyou on the straight and narrow – but he’s also keeping you on the straight an narrow to Hell.

By the twenty-seventh time you hear. “But you forgot…” you can probably smell the Sulfur Pits already.

It might seem cool having someone being the Official Guy Who Asks, but lemme tell ya, he is DEFINITELY one of our guys.

Lost In The Music (AKA Chibichibi)

Small but perfectly formed… well, for an imp.  Chibichibi is the Imp of those moments you get caught in the music at the most inopportune moment – be that in the morning commute when you miss the green-light because you were getting down and groovy… or that moment you’d rather forget when you were just swept up by the hypnotic rhythmic drive of the Village People’s YMCA at the bar.

Chibichibi is also prone to moments of extreme emotion. At such time her eyes go large and her pupils disappear. These moments are usually accompanied by a throbbing “+” by her forehead, or an improbably large, single bead of sweat that appears (this same single bead of moisture will appear when she wants to cry and/or drool).

Temptation (AKA Kitty)

Temptation, or Kitty to those who know her intimately… and given what she is, EVERYONE who knows her, knows her intimately… is lusty desire incarnate.

In the Imp World she is the hottest, sexiest, steamiest and tentacliest of all the Imps.  Cupid is a rank amateur when compared to Kitty.

To you and me, she might not look like much, but she can change your perceptions and appear to be that which you long for the most, be that Elle MacPhearson, Courtney Huddleston, or a O’Queenees Out-Box Cheeseburger when you KNOW your diet says no carbs and dairy and transfats and other fats and processed foods.

Don’t get too near, or those lips will be whispering sweet-nothings in your ear (seriously IN your ear, like next to your brain and everything) and once those tentacles are wrapped around you, you’re lost to the heady desires of temptation.

Here’s The Plan (AKA Byakugan)

Once again, on face value, this Imp seems like he’s on your side, but don’t listen.

That guy who screwed you over for the promotion?  This guy will tell you just how he cheated and just how YOU should do the same to him.  Of course, when you blow that jerk out of his new position and take that corner office, Byaky here will be sitting on the shoulder of the guy who was just behind you in the pecking-order, telling him how you cheated and what this guy can do to get your new job.  Don’t let those big innocent eyes fool you, he’s one of the Imps.  And if he puts on earplugs, get ready for some bossa nova evil coming your way.

Let’s Cook Something (AKA: LCS)

OK, I know you’re thinking, so I’ll explain.  At those moments in human history when someone looked down at an object they really should have thrown away, and said to themself, “Hmmmmm, I wonder what that tastes like?” you can bet that our drooling friend LCS was around.  Oh sure, at some point later, someone decides cow testes are suddenly a delicacy and for refined tastes only (the same tastes who eat pizzle, snails or deep-fried candy), but you know it was never a good idea in the first place.

However, LCS is not limited to just culinary adventures.  Wherever you find ill-conceived ideas, like starting a sock-based conspiracy theory, you can bet our friend is there, cooking up insane ideas.

But next time you’re looking in the closet and you think, “I wonder what Ramen Noodles, Jello, Anchovies and Capers taste like battered and deep-fried,” check for a trail of drool before you break out the cookware.

How Hot Can It Be? (AKA: Iceburgh)

We’ve likely ALL encountered this cousin of Pain at some point.  If we find him directly, there’s a good chance alcohol was involved… probably a dare… possibly money is on the line in the form of a bet.  If indirectly, odds are the situation was the same, but we were slightly more in control of our faculties… or at least our sense of self-preservation hadn’t been completely drowned in booze at that point.

The party or night-out is progressing well; everyone is in fine spirits (often as the result of fine spirits… malt-based beverages… and good company); jokes are being told; and suddenly one appears.  A pepper.  Maybe it’s a Scotch Bonnet, or an Habanero.  No one is entirely sure where it came from as no one bought one (guess who provided it?).  No one will remember exactly who shouted “GO ON! EAT IT! HOW HOT CAN IT REALLY BE?” (guess who again?) and the betting starts.

Why is he also known as Iceburgh, you ask?  Because however much pain you might suffer in the eating, you’ll wish you had an iceberg to sit on when that stuff makes it’s way out again.  Burns on the way in, burns on the way out.

The Mysterious One (AKA Keylaleigh)

Perhaps the most mysterious of the Imps, and possibly linked directly to Mr D himself, is the Imp commonly know as Keylaleigh.

Oh sure, she seems nice, fun and just a blast to hang-out with… I mean, she’ll even sing you songs… songs she has written herself.  But at the end of the day, you have to take a step back and ask yourself, “If she is so nice, what’s she doing here?” What does she want and do?  Like the boss before her, she’ll woo you and lull you into a false sense of security… but to what end?

Make no mistake, this imp is possibly the most easily under-estimated one around… and therefore the most dangerous.  Don’t let all that niceness fool you.  Keylaleigh is definitely one of us.

And check out the song she did for us here…

break

Feeling Blue (AKA Kiriel)

We’ve all had those moments of self-doubt, feeling a little sad, a little blue.  Guess who?

This cousin of Tears might at first glance seem like she’d be a push-over, but just like her more famous cousin, there’s more to this Li’l Blue Imp than meets the eye.  Sure, those eyes, that curious skull-like orange marking on her face, the cracked noggin and the spikes all around the head… even the pointed tail – they all suggest a fierce, hardness in this Imp.

But just like Tears, there’s a deep emotional side to Li’l Blue here and the worst thing ANYONE could do would be underestimate her.  Because underneath that deeply emotional center, which is under that spiky-headed, orange-skull-faced, scary-eyed imp, is a diamond-hard core of smack-down you don’t ever wanna cross.  Not unless you like gray rain-clouds, the collected works of Sylvia Plath and a growing familiarity with the word ennui.

OOOOW! IDEA!  (AKA ComicHero)

This guy will jump in your head and just not let go.  The “OOOOW!  IDEA!” moment that usually hits just as you’re about to fall asleep is all down to this guy.  That single eye on the top of his head allows for complete focus on the idea.  It’s amazing that a) you never thought of this before; and b) that no one else ever thought of this before.

Of course, all that extreme focus on one idea can sometimes make it so you even forget to breathe.  But don’t worry, our friend here has you covered.  With what is actually a flip-top head, he can open his mouth like a kitchen trashcan and take enormous gulps of air that will keep you going.

But before you start to ponder the obvious question… “How is THIS guy an Imp?  He sounds awesome!” take a look at those hands.  Do they look like they were designed to type?  And so, when you look the next morning, you’ll have trouble rereading your own awesome idea.  And because you wrote it down, you felt confident to forget it before you finally gave into sleep.

Oh yes.  He is SOOOOOO one of us.

Fist Of Karma (AKA Ragedoll)

True Karma is frustratingly slow and  Mr. D. has never been one to sit around waiting for things to happen. So being much more of a go-getter, he brought into existence Fist of Karma.

This current manifestation is merely ONE of her color-schemes (think of her as a mood ring… if mood rings were designed to bring about swift painful justice).  If you ever run into her, and she’s more of a vermilion hue, run.  That said, she’s partial to dressing up… so there’s a good chance that weird chick in the pink Marie Antoinette outfit (complete with pink wig) is Fist of Karma coming to lay the smack down.  The only known way to escape is to surround yourself with beer and karaoke (she is vulnerable to both).   But you really just bought yourself time.  She’ll still get you in the end.

.

Aaaaaw! Isn’t it cute (AKA Sicarius)

One rarely hears the full name of “Aaaaaw! Isn’t it cute” spoken aloud… at least in full.  Usually the speaker gets as far as “Aaaaaw! Isn’t it c…” before a vicious, painful yet swift death ends the sentence for the speaker.  Throughout history, the gene-pool has been culled by such utterances.

To emphasize the point, while “Aaaaaw! Isn’t it cute” is cute… in a somewhat scary way… she never travels without her faithful minions, Fang (on the left) and Norbert Willikins-Monkhouse III (on the right).  Now on face-value, you might be less than daunted, but consider this:  How many people buy hamsters as pets and put them in their kids’ bedroom?  So you put this tiny noisy NOCTURNAL creature in with the kids and keep them up all night.  But that is just the minor menace.  In truth, with one word “Aaaaaw! Isn’t it cute” can command an army of Attack Hamsters… EXPLODING Attack Hamsters… to lay waste to anyone and anything.  FEAR HER!

Star Shine (AKA LydaLynn)

“Star Shine” like many many of her brothers and sisters, seems innocent enough, but just like her siblings, that first appearance of innocence is all she needs to get you.

Her initial attack is a serious spasm of pain you get on a clear night when you suddenly see a sky full of stars (remember what happened to that dude in the 2001 movie who saw something full of stars?) and stand in awe.

But that’s not the extent of it.  Once she hooks you with her sparkles, you’re lost… forever… stored in a mason jar and fed on your favorite food… thinking you’re having a high-old-time, but really you’ve become an ornament on one of the shelves in her kitchen.  And you might think, “Meh, not so bad.” but ask an animal in a zoo where they’d rather be.  AND that mold-stuff, that keeps evolving, eating everything near it, and sitting in a jar not far away, is looking at you… and drooling… at least I HOPE it’s just drool.

Look out for more IMPosters soon, and if you want your own, start posting and who knows what will happen.



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Discussion (988) ¬

  1. Malverne

    Ooh, fireworks

  2. Aletheya

    Your elf baboons actually do look cute, Trix. It’ll be even funnier to lay waste to them that way! *Lights the firework-powered Terrible Catapult of Doom with a match.* You know, if the ILF wasn’t such a lazy bum I would invite him to the party. Well, whatever. Let the battle unfold as it may! *To the shadow elves* My children! This is day when you fulfill your purpose! To die squished against a wall for our sole amusement! And if possible, to bring down that wall as well! Now who’s the first to try catapult-traveling?
    *Cackles madly watching the shadow elves stumbling on each others to reach the catapult.*

  3. Malverne

    -pulls out camera-

  4. Comichero

    * calls petter jackson to film the fight and gets some popcorn*

  5. Trixxer13

    Ohh, the elf butts red glare, the Babboons bursting in air…I can see that my walls are still there!!! THough battered and scarred, this jar has held strong, now to send in the diggers to undermine the shelf!!! BWWAAAAHHHAAAAAHHHAAAA!!!!

  6. Aletheya

    Ah-ha! Trix is already speaking with rhymes! Good job, my children, I declare this mission successful! Now where did I store my bottle? Elves! Inside the Travelling Imp Bottle now! Let’s see if the walls can stand the Ultimate Battering Ram! And don’t worry about the shelf! If it falls, it’s the end of the world anyway, so who cares?

  7. Comichero

    Hmmmmm good thing i reinforced Aletheya’s and mysself shelving foundations its was built ont he backs of thousands of elves anythign short of a 50 mega ton bomb wont even put a dent in this baby

  8. Trixxer13

    Sends in Elfboon with a 75 megaton bomb *singing “its the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine….*

  9. Sicarius

    *perks up*…did I hear the word “cute”? *grins, then goes back to cleaning dusty jar*

  10. Aletheya

    Sic, I would suggest that you stop cleaning your happy place and take cover. This is about to get ugly. *Piles up all the shadow-elves forming a bunker* If anyone wants refuge in my bunker, the entrance fee is one chocolate cookie per person.

  11. Malverne

    Crap, just ate my last chocolate cookie…Sorry Aleth, I’m gonna have to pass. I will however send you a care package of giant gummy-bear pillows, for snacks and if anyone takes you up on your offer.

  12. Comichero

    Hmmmm a 75 mega ton bomb that might ruin the paint job i will have to get me extra large ding king to knock this dent out tho

  13. Malverne

    -cracks knuckles- Don’t worry Comic, I’ll get it looking all pretty for you in a jiffy…Although there is a fee. Not too steep, of course, it’ll only cost you an arm and a leg. Literally.

  14. Comichero

    well what wiht allthe exploded baboon and shadow elves i dare say you have your pick of the lot

  15. Trixxer13

    Damnit….Wrong bomb…sent out the Nude bomb instead of the neutron…gotta mark those better. *sends out elfboons with blankets and robes for everyone* sorry bout that….

  16. Comichero

    Ha nude bombs

    funny thing you should bring that up back in the 50’s 60’s and 70’s the US war deparment had atteped to make a “gay” bomb that would make the enemy make love

  17. Aletheya

    I’m just glad I was hidden by shadows when that bomb exploded.

  18. Trixxer13

    *slowly hides night vision cameras in my cubby* Yes, good thing everyone was hidden in those shadows! Wouldn’t want those pictures/videos to end up on the U-Tubes….

  19. Comichero

    well other then my shield which was given to me by Lyda Im naked all the time

  20. Aletheya

    *Sneakily sends some shadow elves to sabotage Trix’s night vision cameras.* Such pretty toys you have there…

  21. Comichero

    but since it sems things are getting tad out of hand it time to deploy the orbital friendship cannon and on that i reffer you to the link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kBSm4HtRv8I&feature=related

  22. Comichero

    wow who would have thought the rainbow bomb would be so effective

  23. Aletheya

    I’m sorry. My eyes are still adjusting to the brightness. *Curls up in a thick ball of shadows and cries softly.* It burns…

  24. Trixxer13

    *burrows under piles of ElfBoons* The lights, it burnnssess the skin!

  25. Comichero

    lol I’m glad you both still alive
    well happy birthday to me it was the 12th i celibrated it with a shot of taquila at 5 am video games fatening artry cloggin old world cooking goodness and cake

  26. Comichero

    but yeah that right kids I got allthe nice toys and big guns and I’m selling =p

  27. Comichero

    Hmmmmm comichero uses rainbomb and its very effective ha I win i dont start wars i end them woo i feel like a golbal super power

  28. Trixxer13

    Wha…Huh….Sorry was so cozy under all these Elfboons…. Now to get to cleaning up and getting all this COLOR out of my jar…..

  29. Comichero

    sorry trix the rainbomb stains perminatly unless you have 2 metric shit tons of turpinetine to soak stuff in

  30. Trixxer13

    *gets out his industrial sandblast with the diamond powder addative* Heh, if it don’t clean off, blast it off and put pretty etchings on the glass at the same time! YAY for redecoration!

  31. Aletheya

    *Peeking out of the shadows.* It still smells like rainbows in here. *Sulks back inside.*

  32. Comichero

    ( inhales sharply* mmmm i love the smell of rainbow induced destruction in the morning

  33. Ragedoll

    It doesn’t matter that I missed the beginning of the conversation I would have to agree with Comichero about loving the smell of rainbow induced destruction.. sounds like the best way to wake up in the morning!

  34. Comichero

    Thanks ragedoll I am glad you agree with me and it is by far the best aroma in the universe to wake up to that sweet sweet smell of rainbow yet has that intoxicating punch of utter destruction

    and on a personal note rage of all the dolls your rage is by far my favorite

  35. Aletheya

    Well, it looks like things have finally calmed down. *Looks around.* Guess I’ll have to redecorate as well, my bottle is a little too brightly colored for my tastes. Anyone has some chocolate or bubblegum paint to spare? My shadow elves everything ate that was in my bunker.

  36. Comichero

    I dont know the rain bow paint job reallt open the room up you know corurse i think if destroyed the walls under all this rainbow so trix should be happy

  37. Shadow

    Here, I’ve got spare fudge. Just… Don’t, ah, eat it. That’d be bad.

  38. mcm ???

    louis vuitton ???

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